Harry Lost and Harry Saved
by redcandle
Summary: AU. During their graveyard confrontation, Harry loses his memory and is convinced by Voldemort that he is a loyal Death Eater. Contains slight Voldemort/Harry and non-shippy Snape/Harry.


Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and elements from the Harry Potter series belong to J.K. Rowling. No copyright infringement is intended.

His name was Harry Potter and his parents had been faithful Death Eaters. They died in the Dark Lord's service and now it was time for their son to take their place. Harry knelt before the Dark Lord and offered his right arm. The Dark Lord touched his wand to Harry's bare forearm and the Mark appeared there. The pain was agonizing, but Harry didn't scream. His parents' friends had told him how bravely they'd borne their Mark and Harry was determined to live up to their example.

_"Potter's alive. He lost his memory and the Dark Lord has decided to amuse himself by filling his head with fiction. I've brought Diggory's body."_

_"You must save Harry, Severus. Do whatever it takes. Remember your promise."_

_"I know my promise."_

Harry didn't remember his parents. He didn't remember much of anything really. His wand had malfunctioned while Lord Voldemort was teaching him a new spell and he'd suffered complete memory loss. Uncle Lucius assured him that his memory would return eventually and he was to tell anyone if he started to remember anything so they could help him. Harry tried to remember, but it was no good.

He knew the basic facts of his life; the Dark Lord and the others had told him that much. He knew his parents were a pure-blooded wizard and witch named James and Lily Potter. He knew he was their only child and they'd been killed by Aurors when he was one year old. He knew he'd been raised by Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, friends of his parents, and that he and the Malfoys' son Draco were as close as brothers. Draco attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy while Harry lived at home and was tutored in the dark arts by Lord Voldemort himself.

"This is for you, Harry," the Dark Lord said. "You do the honors."

Harry looked at the family of muggles Mr. Crabbe and Mr. Goyle had kidnapped for the party. Father, mother, and all three children looked absolutely terrified. The children had cried and the parents had begged until Uncle Lucius cast a silencing charm on them. Now the parents clutched the children between them as if they could protect them. It made Harry uncomfortable. He wished they weren't here. He had the idea that a party ought to mean that everyone was happy and enjoying themselves.

"Harry, we're waiting," the Dark Lord prompted him.

Lord Voldemort himself had arranged the entertainment for the party and in fact he'd been the one to suggest they have a party in honor of Harry becoming a full fledged Death Eater. Harry knew it meant he stood high in the Dark Lord's favor. A person didn't throw that away. He had to swallow the lump in his throat before he could speak. "Crucio."

The muggles looked like they were in pain but only for a moment. Harry could feel the Dark Lord's disappointment in him. "Crucio," he said more loudly, trying to will the curse to work properly. He looked at the floor in front of the muggles instead of at them. He wanted to please the Dark Lord and make him proud, and that meant that the muggles had to hurt. "Crucio."

Uncle Lucius reversed his silencing charm and the sound of the muggles' screams filled the air. Harry felt faint. Lord Voldemort was watching him, testing him. "Crucio," he said again. The youngest muggle child suddenly went still and silent. Harry hoped he'd only lost consciousness, that he wasn't dead. He fell to his knees and lost his dinner.

He expected the Dark Lord to be angry with him, but he seemed almost amused, which puzzled Harry. "You'll get used to their screams. You'll learn to crave it."

_"It's been days, Severus."_

_"Do you think I don't know that? The Dark Lord isn't certain of my loyalty. He hasn't allowed me near the boy." _

A chime sounded, announcing that someone had entered the grounds. While Uncle Lucius went to see who it was, Harry got a drink of water to clear the taste of vomit from his mouth. They had a maid, but she was given time off whenever the Dark Lord came to Malfoy Manor. Human servants just weren't as reliable or discreet as house-elves, Aunt Narcissa said, but they hadn't been able to replace their old house-elf who some wicked classmate of Draco's had tricked Lucius into freeing.

Harry felt like he didn't belong here. He knew it was because he'd lost his memory, but the house felt strange and Uncle Lucius and Aunt Narcissa were so distant and almost cold. He couldn't imagine growing up here. He couldn't see himself playing in the garden, racing on the lawn, feeding the peacocks - it all felt like it had never happened. Perhaps things would be different when Draco came home next week. Maybe his best friend's presence would even jog Harry's memory.

He often wondered why he hadn't been sent to Hogwarts too, though he knew better than to ask. Macnair had asked something he shouldn't have and the Dark Lord had tortured him until the big executioner cried like a child.

"There you are," Uncle Lucius said, coming into the kitchen. "The Dark Lord wants you to meet our visitor."

Harry followed him back out to the party. A man with greasy black hair and cold black eyes was standing at the Dark Lord's side. "Harry," Lord Voldemort said, "This is Severus Snape. He's a teacher at Hogwarts."

"Did something happen to Draco?" Harry couldn't imagine why else a teacher would come to his home. There were chuckles from several of the guests. Harry didn't see what was so funny.

"Severus is one of us," the Dark Lord said. He rolled up the man's sleeve to show Harry his Dark Mark. "And now that he is here, it's time you learned the truth."

Harry hated not remembering anything. There was something important going on that he didn't understand. He knew these people were his parents' friends, but he felt afraid. Maybe when the Dark Lord was gone, he could ask Uncle Lucius why everyone seemed so amused. "The truth about what?" he asked.

"The truth about your parents' death. We've lied to you, Harry. It wasn't Aurors who killed your parents." The Dark Lord paused. He seemed to be enjoying the melodrama of the moment. "Albus Dumbledore killed your parents. He tried to kill you as well, but he failed."

Harry was stunned. Albus Dumbledore was the headmaster of Draco's school. No wonder Harry hadn't been sent to Hogwarts. He turned to Uncle Lucius and Aunt Narcissa. "How could you send Draco there with that murderer?"

His aunt and uncle didn't answer him. They looked to the Dark Lord. It was he who answered Harry. "We knew Draco would be safe. Dumbledore doesn't dare harm the students in his care, it would expose his evil to the world. But for you he would have risked it. He's afraid you'll be more powerful than him. After he killed your parents, he tried to kill you too but he failed and gave you that scar on your forehead."

It felt true to Harry. He'd suspected there were things they hadn't told him. He hated this man, Albus Dumbledore, who'd made him an orphan. His life would have been so different if not for that murderer. "I'll kill him," he said.

"Yes, you shall," the Dark Lord said. "Severus will take you to him when the time is right."

"I can kill him now."

"Not yet."

"But..."

"There are other matters to consider," Lord Voldemort said sternly.

Harry waited for the time to be right for two days. He practiced his hexes and curses on the small animals Uncle Lucius kept for that purpose. He still wasn't good at the Cruciatus Curse, not even when he thought of the man who'd killed his parents, but he'd mastered the Killing Curse. He would kill Dumbledore with two words when the time came. "Avada Kedavra," he whispered, and watched another mouse die in a flash of green light.

_"He is unharmed. It amuses the Dark Lord to corrupt him."_

_"For Harry, that is worse than being harmed." _

Finally, three days after Harry had been initiated into the ranks of the Death Eaters, he was summoned to the sitting room where Lord Voldemort was waiting with Severus Snape. It's time, Harry thought excitedly.

"Leave us," the Dark Lord said, and Uncle Lucius left the room. Then the Dark Lord said, to Snape, "He has such striking green eyes."

"Yes, my lord," Snape agreed stiffly. He didn't look at Harry.

Harry didn't understand why they were talking about his eyes. He felt the same unease he'd felt the night of the party. He wanted to be on his way to kill Dumbledore, but he knew better than to hurry the Dark Lord.

"Tender but firm," Lord Voldemort said, touching Harry's cheek. It was just a hand, but the touch felt repulsive. Then the Dark Lord kissed him and it took all Harry's will not to push him away, not to jump up and run. "Juicy but not too ripe, like fruit at its most succulent. Take him, Severus. He's my gift to you."

Harry panicked. Surely he misunderstood the Dark Lord's meaning. Surely the Dark Lord would not give him to a stranger to use sexually. "I don't want to," he said.

"You wanted to serve me, Harry," Lord Voldemort said. "This is the service I require today."

The Dark Mark on Harry's arm burned, more painful than the night it had been magically branded there. When Snape grasped his jaw and turned Harry to face him and pressed their lips together, he didn't resist. He let Snape kiss his mouth and his neck, let him remove his robes and touch him.

_"I had to, Dumbledore. The Dark Lord would have suspected if I'd refused."_

_"I know, Severus."_

After a while Snape stopped. "I cannot, my lord," he said. "If you would wait, I can take a potion to help."

Lord Voldemort laughed. "You're a young man to suffer that problem, Severus. Or perhaps Harry's charms are not so impressive."

"I am most grateful for the gift, my lord. Forgive me for not appreciating it properly."

The Dark Lord seemed to lose interest in them. "Take him to Dumbledore and make sure he kills the old fool."

Harry put his clothes back on, wishing there was somewhere else he could go after he'd killed Dumbledore. Who knew who else Lord Voldemort might give him to, or worse, what he might do to Harry himself. Snape grabbed Harry's arm and led him out of the house. When they were off Malfoy property and beyond its magical security, they apparated outside the gates of what Harry knew must be Hogwarts. He followed Snape up to the castle and inside, all the way to an office where a tall old wizard with a long beard greeted them. This must be Dumbledore, Harry thought. He drew his wand to kill him and then everything went black.

Harry Potter woke up disoriented. He didn't know where he was and everything was a blur. He tried to run and fell out of bed. "It's all right, Harry," a familiar voice said. Dumbledore. Harry calmed down. He groped for his glasses and put them on, and the Hogwarts infirmary came into focus.

"What happened?" he asked. He and Cedric Diggory had agreed to share the championship of the Triwizard Tournament. They'd both put a hand on the trophy, only it had turned out to be a portkey and it had taken them to a graveyard. Cedric had been killed and Harry had watched Voldemort be reborn and reunited with his Death Eaters. He'd thought he was going to die too. Then his wand and Voldemort's wand had acted strangely and - he couldn't remember anything else. "Cedric's dead! Voldemort killed him! What happened?" he asked again. "How did I get here?"

"You managed to reach the portkey and come back to us," Professor Dumbledore said. "But you were injured. You've been in this bed for seven days."

"Cedric..."

"You brought his body back with you. His parents are grateful."

Harry laid back on the bed. He wasn't ready to face Cedric's parents. He knew they weren't grateful, that they probably wished their son had come back alive instead of him. "Rest, Harry," Dumbledore said. Harry closed his eyes.

_"What if he remembers?"_

_"He will not. Forgive my immodesty, but my memory charms are quite strong, Severus."_

_"I hope so for my sake."_


End file.
